NEW YORK, NEW YORK- Hollywood heartthrob Ryan Gosling today became the latest celebrity to come out of The Closet, following a long line of A-listers such as George Clooney, Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds among others.
Dozens of paparazzi photographers elbowed one another while waiting for the chance to snap the 31 year-old movie star’s picture as he came out of The Closet, a trendy Manhattan apparel store catering to the rich and famous. Flashes blinded Gosling as soon as he exited the front door, carrying two bags full of new clothes.
“Ryan, why did you choose to come out of The Closet?” shouted one photographer as his camera snapped away.
Gosling shielded his eyes from the flashes and said, “I felt it was the right time. I got everything on my list and at sale prices. There’s only so much time one can spend in The Closet.”
“How do you feel, Ryan?” shouted another man wielding a digital camera.
“I feel fantastic, very happy,” said the Canadian-born hunk, lifting the shopping bags to show to the assembled paparazzi his purchases. “I guess you can say I feel pretty gay.”
“Gay as in happy or gay as in you bought a bunch of questionable clothes and feel a little less than heterosexual?” asked a young man with a video camera.
“I bought a couple of really sweet turtlenecks, a bunch of slacks and three blazers,” Gosling said. “I only paid ten thousand dollars so I just wanted to say that I felt really gay about it. Happy.”
The Notebook star then proceeded to walk to his pink Porsche before being hounded by the question seekers once more.
“Ryan! Who else was in The Closet with you?”
“I don’t know, it was pretty packed in there,” Gosling said, carefully placing the bags in the trunk. “I think I saw Johnny Depp but I can’t be certain. I was concentrating on picking out these nice new clothes.”
“Did you enjoy your time in The Closet? Do you plan on coming back?” asked a woman wearing an official-looking TMZ jacket.
“Spending time in The Closet was wonderful,” replied Gosling, as he got into his sports car. “I really got to know myself in there, my likes, my dislikes. I think more guys should visit The Closet. I can guarantee everyone in there will make you feel totally gay afterwards. It’s a grand experience.”
Gosling then thanked the paparazzi for taking time out of their busy days to snap his picture and talk to him. He gave the photographers his email address and asked them to forward the pictures whenever they had a spare moment. He said the next time he came out of The Closet that he expected them all to be there so he could buy everyone a soda.
Talk about an all-around nice guy. Stay classy, Ryan Gosling.