Richard Simmons Arrested For Exercising In The Nude

Simmons allegedly freed his willy while exercising

BOCA RATON, FLORIDA- Richard Simmons is without question the peppiest exercise guru on the planet. Sometimes his enthusiasm may go a bit too far as was the case today.

Simmons was arrested by Boca Raton police early this morning while he allegedly exercised in the nude at a local park. Police Chief Harold Weemer held a press conference to explain the charges against the 63 year-old fitness icon.

“Early this morning officers from my department responded to a 911 call from an elderly woman who was frightened by the sight of Mr. Simmons exercising in the nude,” said the Chief. “The incident occurred at a well known park in the area where kids have been known to play. It was rather early so there weren’t any children around but still, the sight of Richard Simmons naked is scary enough even for the elderly.”

Simmons will be held on $1,000 bail and will be scheduled to appear before a county judge, according to Weemer.

“Mr. Simmons is currently fully clothed and chained to the bars of his jail cell,” said Weemer. “We don’t want him to start exercising in his cell and causing a ruckus for the other prisoners. Our goal is to deliver Mr. Simmons to the judge as soon as possible.” obtained a copy of the frantic 911 call and we can assure our readers that the elderly woman who called the police was scared out of her wits at the cruel sight of witnessing Richard Simmons completely naked. The caller seemed to be on the verge of tears as she described Mr. Simmons dancing and prancing around the park while doing stretches.

Simmons, who lives in Beverly Hills, California, is currently in town to educate Florida’s seniors about the benefits of a vigorous exercise routine. Some people spoke to hoped the fitness guru would keep his clothes on in the future.

“He seems like a nice, jubilant young man,” said 97 year-old Edna Keedan, referring to the 63 year-old Simmons. “It’s a shame he got popped by the pigs for doing his exercises with his shlong out. Maybe he should keep his clothes on from now on.”

“My goodness, I would have been traumatized for the rest of my life had I seen that man naked,” said Ester Goldberg, 85, of Boca Raton. “I may not live much longer but still, I would have been traumatized.”

It was not immediately known if Mr. Simmons had an attorney or if anyone was crazy enough to represent him. Sources inside the jail tell that Mr. Simmons has been singing all day to pass the time and has consequently received numerous death threats from the other prisoners.

We will update our readers as the breaking news progresses.