North Korean Supreme Court OKs Gay Marriage

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Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un is hungry for gay rights!

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA- In a sweeping victory for gay marriage advocates, the North Korea Supreme Court today agreed to allow gay marriage to flourish in the impoverished nation. The stunning decision by the court’s five panel judges set off a huge celebration in downtown Pyongyang where thousands of gay marriage supporters had assembled in support of the ruling.

“This is a momentous day for all the gays in North Korea!” shouted an enthusiastic university student who declined to be named. “We welcome American gays to make a pilgrimage to North Korea to get married. We are a gay nation with a gay leader!”

In the ruling which in effect made North Korea the gay marriage capital of the world, the Supreme Court’s five judges all concurred that gay marriage should be completely allowed in the small Asian nation of 24 million citizens. The North Korean Gay Party, which represents a strong coalition of gays and lesbians in the nation, issued a statement in full support of the ruling.

“The North Korean Gay Party would like to thank the honorable Supreme Court justices who validated our beliefs as a whole,” the statement read. “It is now time to continue the gay and lesbian movement here at home while attracting gays and lesbians from around the world to further bolster North Korea’s stance as the gayest nation ever.”

Meanwhile, North Korea’s supreme leader Kim Jong-un seemed please by the ruling and said he vowed to celebrate this momentous day with the rest of his beloved people.

“Make no mistake this is one of the finest days in our history,” he said. “I truly believe my father and grandfather, who built this nation with their own hands, are very proud of the fact that North Korea has established itself as a sanctuary for the gay community. In honor of this monumental decision by the Supreme Court, there will be festivals of food and dancing throughout Pyongyang this entire weekend. I, personally, will attend these festivals and consume as many cheeseburgers as I possibly can.”

Back in Washington, D.C., President Obama held a news conference to announce his support for gay marriage in North Korea. This marks the first time since he took office that he or a member of his administration has praised Kim Jong-un’s regime.

“I just wanted to say kudos to Kim

and his court system for doing the right thing,” said President Obama. “I think it’s great North Korea is the gayest country in the world. I really do.”

No comment yet from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation about the ruling. We will post GLAAD’s reaction as soon as we get one.

 

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Republicans Accuse President Obama Of Lip-Synching State Of The Union Address

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Did the President lip-synch? GOP says he did.

WASHINGTON, D.C.- In what some Washington insiders are calling one of the more bizarre accusations in a long time, many Republicans today are coming out and accusing President Obama of lip-synching the State of the Union address last night. The GOP held a press conference this morning to outline their allegations against the president.

“We have attained evidence this morning that is quite shocking and quite frankly very disturbing against the President,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH). “It’s becoming crystal clear what Mr. Obama did last night. He intentionally lip-synched the State of the Union address. This, in my opinion, is despicable behavior for the leader of our nation.”

Several other GOP members echoed Boehner’s thoughts.

“I’m outraged, to say the least,” said Senator John McCain (R-AZ). “To lip-synch the grandest speech a President is privileged enough to give is mind-boggling to me and my colleagues. We demand the President explain why he chose to do what he did. I think the American people deserve better than this.”

Several GOP members Inothernewz.com spoke to this morning say they have seen videotape evidence given to them by an unknown source within Washington D.C. circles that clearly show the President lip-synching the State of the Union speech seen by millions of people around the country and the world.

“We’re not in a position to divulge our source but the videotape is pretty damning,” said Representative Peter King (R-NY). “Many of my colleagues huddled together this morning to watch the tape. We could clearly see the President lip-synching. It bothered many of us and we intend to open a Congressional inquiry into this event. We’ll probably spend a few months dissecting this incident, spend a few billion dollars gathering more evidence and interviewing a few witnesses who were close enough to the President to concur our findings. By the time we get done with the inquiry, we should have a clearer picture of what exactly happened and why. The American people deserve the truth.”

Inothernewz.com reached out to President Obama for comment but we were told by a senior adviser the President was amused by the silly accusations thrown at him by the GOP.

“I guess this is what desperation looks like,” said the adviser. “The Republican Party is on thin ice here.”

A Republican congressman also told Inothernewz.com that President Obama held a secret meeting with R&B star Beyonce in the Oval Office earlier this week.

“We speculate he and Beyonce were practicing the lip-synch routine,” said the GOP congressman who didn’t want to be identified for this article. “The whole thing was perfectly choreographed to fool the American people. And I’ll tell you another thing. Mrs. Obama didn’t even know Beyonce was in the Oval Office with her husband. How about that!”

It is unclear at this point in time what, if any, penalties the President faces if he is found to have lip-synched the State of the Union speech. Only time will tell how this incident plays out in the halls of Washington.

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Rolling Stone Magazine Names Jim Martin Best Unknown Contemporary Artist

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Rolling Stone magazine says buy this album now! You won’t regret it.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK- If you’ve never heard of Jim Martin, the San Diego-based music artist, you’re not alone. But that may all change now due to Rolling Stone magazine naming Martin as the Best Unknown Contemporary Artist- a title many struggling music talents would love to have bestowed upon them by a mighty giant in the music business.

“I was flabbergasted when I heard the news,” says Martin, originally from Queens, New York. “I never expected something like this to happen to me. I’m still a bit speechless over the news but this is so exciting!”

Rolling Stone editor Jann Wenner explained to Inothernewz.com how the iconic music magazine came to choose Martin as its inaugural Best Unknown Contemporary Artist.

“We know how abysmally difficult it is to break into the music business,” Wenner said. “We also know how popular our magazine is within music circles. Our goal was to choose the one talent who deserved to be discovered and so we went about finding that one talent worthy enough to win this award. We must have listened to a million songs from various artists from all over the planet. Some were good while others not. Still, we seemed to be missing something. We knew what we were missing when we heard Mr. Martin’s self-titled album. It was magical. It spoke to all of us here at Rolling Stone. The lyrics to his songs are truly breathtaking. We knew we had a winner.”

The aforementioned self-titled album, Jim Martin, was released on June 10, 2004 to raving reviews. The album, however, failed to take off into the stratosphere on the pop charts, leaving Martin to doubt his musical genius.

“I knew I wrote my heart out on that album and when it failed to reach any mainstream radio stations, it was kind of a bummer,” Martin said. “But I never gave up. I hoped my music would one day make it. I think that day is today.”

Inothernewz.com has listened to the entire album, which can be purchased via iTunes following this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/jim-martin/id18402076 and we were stunned by the sheer beauty of Martin’s masterpiece. It is obvious the record will enjoy brisk sales due to the massive publicity Martin will receive once the Rolling Stone article is published.

“I’m really looking forward to see how people will react to my music,” he said. “I know they will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed making this record. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing people will listen to and appreciate my songs.”

“We believe he’ll become this generation’s Elton John or Billy Joel,” said Wenner. “He’s got that range to his voice that truly grabs the listener and never lets go. His talent on the piano is extraordinary as well. Mr. Martin is going to be a mega-star and his friends at Rolling Stone wish him the very best.”

Wenner said the magazine is putting the finishing touches to the article and it should hit the newsstands sometime within a couple of months. We here at Inothernewz.com would like to congratulate Mr. Martin on the major award and we look forward to attending his future concerts.

Please take a moment to visit Mr. Martin’s website for a free listen. There’s nothing like discovering a great new artist! http://www.jimmartinsongs.com/

 

 

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Report: Sarah Palin Agrees To Reported $5 Million Deal To Pose Nude For Playboy

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Playboy Magazine bagged the former Governor for a cool $5 million. Is it political suicide?

WASHINGTON, D.C.- In what could be the biggest political shocker in recent memory, ex-Alaska governor and GOP Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has reportedly agreed to pose nude for Playboy in exchange for a massive five million dollar payday. The report coming out of the nation’s capital was confirmed by a Palin spokesman who cautioned the conservative base that makes up the Republican Party that the magazine shoot would most likely be a huge positive for Palin.

“We agreed to be featured in Playboy after a long negotiation process with Mr. Hefner and his team,” said David Hemperstein, a spokesman for Palin. “Mr. Hefner has guaranteed the entire issue will be devoted to the Governor. We believe the national exposure the Governor will get from the issue will be very good press for a possible 2016 presidential run.”

Inothernewz.com has confirmed from various sources inside the iconic magazine that Palin’s fee for posing nude will be a mind-boggling sum of five million dollars which represents the most money the magazine has ever paid for a model.

“We believe the fee is appropriate given the stature of the talent,” said a source inside Playboy. “We anticipate the Governor’s issue to be the biggest selling issue of all-time and an instant collectible every collector will want to get their hands on. We’re very excited about this.”

James Carville, a Democratic strategist and CNN political contributor, believed the bizarre move to pose nude for the magazine spells the end of Palin’s career in politics.

“I’m going to say this once and once only. Sarah Palin is finished in politics. There is not a snowball’s chance in hell this woman will ever run for any office in this country,” he said to Inothernewz.com via telephone. “You find me one single conservative who will cast a vote for a candidate that has posed nude for Playboy and I’ll show you some fine waterfront property in Nebraska. It’s political suicide if she goes ahead with it and that’s just fine and dandy for us Dems.”

Inothernewz.com tried to get comment from Governor Palin regarding the potentially lucrative Playboy spread but we were told she would not be issuing any comments at the moment.

“The Governor wishes not to address any media questions regarding this decision,” said Hamperstein. “Please respect her and her family’s privacy at this time. She will have plenty to say when the time is right.”

The Playboy source Inothernewz.com spoke to said Palin is scheduled for a photo shoot sometime in March at an unspecified location and that the issue in question will hit the newsstands sometime in May or June. No firm date has been set internally by Playboy.

Inothernewz.com took to the streets of Washington, D.C. to see how ordinary Americans felt about the prospect of Sarah Palin posing nude for the magazine.

“I can care less, to be completely honest,” said Nancy Lemur, 33, of Evansville, Indiana. “I thought she was a big dolt to begin with. This just reinforces my feelings about her.”

“I think I might vote for her after seeing the spread,” said Joe Waters, 23, of Washington, D.C. “I’m a Democrat but I’ll tell you what, if she went through with the shoot I’d have a lot more respect for her. It just shows she’s comfortable with who she is. Confidence in yourself is a key trait for a president, is it not?”

“No Republican and or Christian in their right mind would vote for her if she posed nude for that rag,” said Willis Maynard, 52, of Bethesda, Maryland. “The Tea Party would eschew her like the plague, that’s for certain. She’d lose my vote.”

It will be interesting to see how this situation plays out. Five million dollars is a mountain of money to turn down but then again her political career may hang in the balance. The proverbial ball, along with her future, is in Sarah Palin’s court.

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Saudi Investor Group Offers Three Billion Dollars To Purchase The New York Yankees

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Yankee Stadium may soon be owned by a Saudi investment group

THE BRONX, NEW YORK- The New York Yankees are one of the most recognizable sports icons in the world. Their brand has some of the most rabid and loyal fans on the planet, much like Manchester United and the Dallas Cowboys. So it would make sense that an investor group out of Saudi Arabia is interested in purchasing the storied Major League Baseball franchise. But here’s the twist- their mind-boggling offer is for three billion dollars.

Inothernewz.com has learned from multiple channels within the organization owned by Yankee Global Enterprises, the company controlled by the Steinbrenner family, that a group of wealthy Saudi investors have begun preliminary talks with the Steinbrenners in regards to a possible sale of the team. The Saudi group is headed by a well known businessman who owns several notable racehorses and is currently constructing what is believed to be the biggest racehorse stable in the Middle East.

“The Steinbrenners were contacted through an intermediary about a possible sale a week after the World Series ended last year,” said an employee of Yankee Global Enterprises who spoke on the condition of anonymity due to the sensitive nature of the matter. “The foreign investors wanted to gauge the Steinbrenner’s potential interest in selling the team. Their initial offer was two and a half billion dollars. Hal said if they made it three billion, he and his brother would certainly consider it. The investor group took a week to respond but consequently they agreed that three billion dollars would be an acceptable number. The sale would include the team, stadium and the YES cable network.”

Inothernewz.com reached out to Hal Steinbrenner for comment. We received a curt “no comment” from his attorney. We then called Hank Steinbrenner, who co-owns the Yankees with his brother, for comment. We were unsuccessful in reaching him but have left numerous voicemails to return our calls.

According to a Forbes Magazine article in March 2012, the New York Yankees are the most valuable team in baseball with a value of approximately 1.85 billion dollars. That figure is sure to have gone up in the last year but likely nowhere near the staggering three billion dollars the Saudi investor group has offered. Will the monster offer entice the Steinbrenner brothers to sell their beloved team? Inothernewz.com took to the streets of The Bronx to gauge fan reaction to the possible sale.

“I would lose all respect for the Steinbrenners if they sold the Yankees to a Saudi Arabian group,” said Catherine Wilkinson, 29. “Their father would be rolling around in his grave. I wouldn’t go to any games, that’s for certain.”

“Quite frankly, they own the team, it’s theirs. They can do whatever they want with it,” said Mike Hampton, 38. “I’ll still root for my favorite team.”

“The New York Yankees are about as American as apple pie,” said Jose Rodriquez, 45. “I can’t believe the Steinbrenners would even think about selling the team to a foreign group. It’s not right. It’s not American. I would be very upset and I’m a diehard fan. Been one for many years.”

It is also believed that if the Steinbrenners sell the team to the Saudi group, there would be a strong chance hallowed Yankee Stadium would get a name change in order to bring in more revenue to compensate for the possible three billion dollar price tag.

“There’s no doubt, the Saudi’s would sell naming rights to Yankee Stadium,” said the Yankee Global Employee. “They’ve mentioned it to Hal and it didn’t seem to bother him. At least not that I witnessed.”

The Steinbrenners, according to our sources within the organization, have made it clear to their inner group of employees that any further negotiations with the Saudi group will resume following the 2013 baseball season in order to minimize the potential distractions that could plague the team and its players during the arduous 162 game campaign.

“Hal and Hank have a huge offer and now they’ll take the next few months to think about it,” said our source. “I honestly hope they don’t sell. It would be a dark stain on this glorious American franchise. It would sadden all of us.”

 

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