Tigers Pitcher Justin Verlander Confirms He Had Lots of Sex with Supermodel Kate Upton

Detroit Tigers starting pitcher Justin Verlander today confirmed that photos that hit the Internet last weekend showing him and supermodel Kate Upton in various states of undress are authentic.
“Oh, yeah. That all happened. Those pictures were definitely from my phone,” said Verlander. “So now everyone knows I have had repeated sexual relations with supermodel Kate Upton. That’s my truth, okay? I’m going to just accept that it is now public knowledge and move on.”
The former Cy Young winner apologized if he was “in the wrong for having too much sex with repeated Sports Illustrated cover model Kate Upton. I want to be clear that I had tons and tons of sex with her. You have no idea. Sometimes I’d have so much sex with her, I’d think: ‘Boy, I could use a break from all this sex I’m having with Kate Upton!’ Can you imagine anyone thinking that? But I did. That’s how much sex I had with Kate Upton. Any other person in the world would gladly be in my shoes, but sometimes I got tired out by it. My apologies.”
Verlander also confirmed that the photos that were hacked are just a “small, very small, sample of all the naked pictures and videos I have of Kate Upton, many of them of us engaged in sex acts that would just blow your mind.”
He then offered to show everyone the gallery in his phone titled “ME DOING SEX WITH KATE UPTON.”
“Guys, come check this out, it will be cathartic for me or whatever,” Verlander said to a group of teammates, who happily gathered around his phone. “You ever see anything like this? Yeah, me either … until that night. That night with Kate Upton. The famous model. One of many nights I’ve had with her.”
“I’m so ashamed,” Verlander said, getting high-fives from teammates and media members.
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WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC — While fashionistas give the president a hand for condescending to wear a necktie while addressing the world at large, they haven’t been as impressed with Barack Obummer’s latest selection of clothing color.

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