Evgeni Malkin on Marc-Andre Fleury’s 300th career win: “My whole memories, I am score every practice, 10 goals. Every shootout, I score on him. I don’t know how he win 300. It surprises me.”
A video posted by Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:49pm PST
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Virginia Tech’s football team gathered last night for a team Thanksgiving meal of turkey and stuffing, but the happy event took a dark turn when it was discovered the players and coaches were feasting on the school’s beloved turkey mascot.
“It’s unfortunate what happened, but we will replace HokieBird,” said Virginia Tech director of athletics Whit Babcock. “It’s not much consolation, but if HokieBird had to die, I’m sure it would have wanted to provide sustenance and nutrition to the team it loved so very much.”
The Hokies have a game against rival Virginia on Friday and the coaches felt it would be best to have the team Thanksgiving meal several days before the holiday so the players wouldn’t still weighted down by food at kickoff. But the scheduling preference never reached those tasked with catering the meal and with 20 turkeys needed to feed the team and not thawed or even available, the decision was made to slit HokieBird’s neck, chop up its body and deep-fry the pieces.
“This is the best damn turkey I’ve ever eaten,” head coach Frank Beamer said after digging in. Moments later an assistant whispered into the head coach’s ear. Beamer then dry-heaved as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Word quickly spread around the room and players pushed away their plates. Shouts of “No!” or “Why, God, why?” were heard. Others vomited up chunks of human flesh and costume. Yet several Hokies linemen grabbed the suddenly unattended plates and dug in.
“Food is food,” said one. “That mascot was stupid anyway.”
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Also see … PICTURE: Virginia Tech “Gobble Gobble Bitches” t-shirt
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ARIES: You’ll inspire thousands to go out and do something with their lives in order not to wind up being as pathetic and useless as you are.
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